Overcoming Fear

We have all felt fear. Fear of speaking, fear of dying, or perhaps fear of asking someone out on a date. It is a common obstacle in our lives. However, it is this very obstacle that gives us an opportunity to grow each time we face it.

Fear is based on control. People fear the unknown, or rather, what they think about the unknown. When we give up pursuing a goal out of fear, we give up control to a thought about what that process is going to look like. When we use fear on others to obtain a goal, we do so because we fear that without that control, we may not be able to get that which we seek.

Fear holds all of us back from growth, at one time or another. You see change is growth. So in order for us to change and subsequently grow, we must step into our fears. This means, we must challenge the way we think about the things that we fear.

Fear is always based on something that has yet to happen. So it is only logical that it is only the thought about something that is yet to happen, which is actually causing our fears. By asking ourselves questions about our thoughts, we can identify our belief that is causing the fear.

I want to share with you a personal example of how I faced one of my fears.

I have often thought about doing modelling. In fact that thought has been presented to me by others over the years as well. I am aware that I am considered attractive by many, and I make a conscious effort to look good.

Yet, each time I have had an opportunity to attend casting calls or meet photographers, I have declined. I was afraid. Something was holding me back from doing something that I actually thought I may be good at.

I have worked very hard on my personal growth for the past year. I have made it a point to take an opportunity to grow whenever it presents itself. I am conscious of my opportunities and my choice. I was beginning to think I was mastering this whole personal growth idea. That was until I saw a positing for an open casting call this past week at the library.

I began to think about what it would be like to attend the casting call. It was then that I realized that life was presenting me another opportunity for growth.

I thought at thirty three, I am too old to be trying to become a model. I thought there are so many good looking people in the world why would they want me. I thought I have no experience modelling. Instantly my mind flooded with familiar negative thoughts that caused me to fear attending the casting call.

This time though I knew I was being given a chance to grow. I knew I had to do this for myself. I walked to a nearby park and sat on a bench along the river and really thought hard about what was causing me so much fear.
At thirty three, was I really too old to be a model? The poster did not say anything about looking for a certain age group. Also, I look young for my age. I am often told I only look twenty five. So this was not what was causing me enough fear to not try.

Now there was the issue of there being a lot of other good looking people who may also try. Fair enough, but each agency is after a different look depending on what they are shooting for.

How could I know for certain, that my look was not going to be right unless I tried? In fact I was sure many people who attend these casting calls wonder the same thing, but if nobody attended these events, there would be no models. I could not accept this fear as an acceptable reason not to attend.

Now there was the issue of not having experience. This was easy to dismiss as irrelevant. The poster stated in bold letters that no experience was needed.

So what then could be causing me so much fear about this situation in my life? I began to think more about this as I looked out across the river. Images flashed through my mind of being laughed at by others. I envisioned the photographers having to politely tell me that they didn’t need any shots of me, and that I was not what they were looking for.

It was then that I realized what it was that I was actually afraid of. I was afraid of rejection! Now I was excited. I had discovered the root of my fear. Now I had a chance to actually overcome my fear and grow as a person. This was important to me.

I did not want to miss this opportunity. So I asked myself what was the worst thing that would happen if I was not selected? Would I really be laughed at? Doubtful, this was not a primary school yard after all.

The reality was, that the only risk I had was hurting my own pride. Pride itself can create its own set of problems as I have learned in my life. I was not going to allow that to happen this time.

I decided that I could only gain from this. By attending the casting call, I was facing my fear of rejection and that was a change for me. That change was going to allow me to grow, by experiencing something I would not have if I did not face my fear. I was going to that casting call.

That casting call was yesterday. I am not going to lie; I had a lot of nervous energy. I was out of my comfort zone, and did not know what to expect. I took a few deep breaths and told myself I deserved this opportunity as I walked into the building.

As I approached the area sectioned off for photos, a lady walked up to me hand outstretched with a warm inviting smile. She asked me if I was there for the casting call and I smiled brightly and announced that I was indeed. We shook hands and she led me to a table to fill out some basic information.

I chatted easily with her and the other two photographers as I filled out the paperwork. They began by asking if I would be interested in posing for sports shots such as golf or running ads. I said I would be interested and had been involved with sports most of my life. They told me I had that athletic look.

I posed for a couple of pictures before the one photographer asked me to pose as if I was celebrating. He wanted me to act as if I were Sidney Crosby and just won the Stanley Cup. I stopped and looked at him somewhat shocked. I said, “Wow that’s a sore spot. I’m a Red Wings fan”. We all started laughing, and then the cameras started clicking. The photographer then said. “Well we have the laughing shots anyway”.

I finished off the shoot, and they told me they would be in contact if I was selected. I shook hands with them all and left. In all the experience lasted fifteen to twenty minutes.

The feeling I had as I left was amazing. I noticed I was smiling ear to ear. I felt euphoric. In fact I felt like I had won something. I noticed then, in that moment, I had truly faced my fear and grown.

The experience turned out to be a lot of fun, and confidence boosting. Not only that, I was not worried if I was ever going to hear from then again at all. If I do, and I am selected, great! What was important to me was facing my fear and growing.

I encourage everyone to challenge your thoughts about your fears. Get to the root of what it is you really fear. Realize that your fear is only your thoughts about the actual situation, because it has not actually happened yet. Empower yourself to be in control of your own life and not allow fear to have control.

In facing our fears we can find some of our biggest opportunities for personal growth.