Out of the Comfort Zone

I would like to share with you another experience I had recently, where I was able to open up out of my comfort zone. Sometimes this can be difficult because when we are out of our comfort zone we do not know what will happen, and that can cause feelings of fear. However, as I talked about in my last article Overcoming Fear, when we step out of our comfort zone and face our fear we are able to grow.

Last week I was attending a seminar for a course on healthy relationships. Our group is led by two instructors, who have been there for each class. On this particular week, one of the instructors was off sick and a replacement had come to speak.

Normally the classes are very involved with discussion between the students and facilitators. There is a real feeling of openness and respect among all. Everybody gets a chance to speak.

This new instructor had a completely different style. He was loud, he did all the talking, and he was very dramatic with his demonstrations. Within the first few minutes he asked someone with their arm up to wait until he had finished.

I noticed that I felt uncomfortable. This was not the way things normally worked. Usually we had discussion and lots of feedback. What was happening on this night was a lecture. In fact, at that point, I found it to be a very condescending lecture. The dramatics just seemed unnecessary.

I began using some negative self talk. I thought there was no way I was going to get anything out of this class. I thought about excusing myself for the night. I even decided in that few minutes that I didn’t like this guy.

I took a deep breath, and looked across the room at the other students to see how they were reacting to the new instructor. What I noticed was many were deeply engaged. His style was really working for them.

Again I took a deep breath, and I closed my eyes for a moment. I told myself that I needed to be open getting whatever it was that I could from this man’s message. It did not matter if I liked his style, I was there to learn.

So I opened my mind and focused. Strangely as I listened to the instructor for a while, I began to see how he was using the dramatics to really leave an impression on his audience. I don’t think I would want to use that style, but it was really working for him. What’s more, I was opening up to a different perspective of the topic.

By the end of the class, I realized that I had actually enjoyed it. It was different than what I was used to, but I definitely learned a lot. I also grew by consciously realizing my own negative self talk, and opening myself up even though I was out of my comfort zone.

After I left the class, I spoke with a few of the other students. They this new instructor was just great. They really enjoyed his style, and felt they had got more out of this particular class than any other. I didn’t feel that strongly, but it was interesting to hear them say this.

I’m sure glad now, that I didn’t decide to leave that class.