In Defeating Depression Part 1, I talked about the importance of choosing to tackle this problem drug free. By having a clear and conscious mind, you allow yourself to remain in control of your thoughts, and your choices. It is your thoughts, and the choices of what you think about, where you must now focus your energy.
Depression is a mental health issue. While at different stages of depression you may well feel physical effects, it is at the thought level and the subsequent feelings created by those thoughts where the physical symptoms were created. If your thoughts are of despair and hopelessness, you are certainly going to remain in a depressed state of mind. In order to defeat depression, you are absolutely going to have to change the way you think.
In preparing for this article, I thought about what I had done to change my thinking. As I went through my process, I realized that I had used 5 personal development techniques to help me. In my opinion, if you use these 5 methods you will be well on your way to having defeated depression.
Depression is a mental health issue. While at different stages of depression you may well feel physical effects, it is at the thought level and the subsequent feelings created by those thoughts where the physical symptoms were created. If your thoughts are of despair and hopelessness, you are certainly going to remain in a depressed state of mind. In order to defeat depression, you are absolutely going to have to change the way you think.
In preparing for this article, I thought about what I had done to change my thinking. As I went through my process, I realized that I had used 5 personal development techniques to help me. In my opinion, if you use these 5 methods you will be well on your way to having defeated depression.
Positive and Negative List:
A positive and negative list is simply that. A list of everything that you feel is positive or negative in your life, right now. Take a sheet of paper and draw a line down the middle of the page, and make one side for the positives and one side for the negatives.
When someone is depressed it can often be difficult to see the positives. However, if you take the time to really think about it, you always have positives in your life. It could be as simple as the fact that you woke up today and were alive, or perhaps that you have a roof over your head. Do not take for granted the positives you do have in your life, you have many more than you may be aware of, while in a depressed state of mind.
Now you can make your negative list. This is the time to let it all out. Put down everything that you perceive as negative in your life. This list is going to be just as important as your positive list, so make sure you list everything. Remember nobody has to ever to read your list.
Once you have your lists completed, take a moment to reflect on what you have put down. If there is anything you feel is missing, go ahead and add it now. Perhaps you feel there is something you want to take off of your lists, and that’s ok too. This is your list, so make sure it’s a representation of how you truly feel.
Now that you have your two lists, you can tear the piece of paper in half. You will now use each side for different purposes. Start with your list of positives and make note of all the positive people you have in your life. It may only be one, but that’s ok. What’s important is that you recognize that they are a positive part of your life. Those are the people you are going to want to surround yourself with, especially in the early stages of defeating depression.
Also take a moment as you look over your list of positives, and really feel thankful for having those things. Gratitude is a positive feeling, and you should make as much time as you can each day to feel thankful for the positives in your life. This is one simple step to help focus your mind on positives.
Now it’s time to look over your list of negatives. Are there people on your list? If so, it’s time to take a stand for yourself. Unless you feel you can change your relationship (and by all means you should try where possible) with these people, it is time to let them go. They may have been an important part of your life at one time, and it may not be easy. However, in order to move forward you need to let go of the past.
For every single negative on your list, try to come up with a positive that could come from that perceived negative. Perhaps you have lost your job you had for the past 10 years. You don’t really know how to do anything else and this can feel like a horrible situation, especially when there are bills to pay.
What could possibly be positive about that situation? Well for starters, you may have been unhappy with your job. You could have been working that job simply to pay the bills, without getting any real satisfaction from the work you were doing. Now that you have lost your job, you have the time to look for more satisfying work, or perhaps go back to school.
That job is done, and therefore so is that part of your life. You can only control how you choose to see things from this point forward. Why not look at your situation from the most positive perspective possible and work towards a better future?
When I wrote my first positive and negative list, I was sitting in a jail cell. Obviously one of the negatives on my list was the fact I was imprisoned. What I did was to change the way I perceived my situation. I was in jail, but I was no longer on the street doing drugs. I now had a chance to get healthy. I was in jail, but I could use all that boring time alone to wallow in self-pity, or to make plans for a better future. I chose to make plans for a better future.
You too, have the ability to choose how you perceive every negative on your list. There is a positive to be found from every perceived negative. Every negative can be seen as a challenge, and an opportunity for growth. So find the positives in your list of negatives, and what you will be left with, is a new way of looking at the challenges you face, and of course, two lists of positives.
Identify Replacement Thoughts:
Sometimes depression causes what seems to be an endless stream of negative thoughts. These thoughts can cycle over and over in your mind and leave you feeling tortured. Often you will experience sleepless nights, and difficulty focusing when you really need to. One technique that I used to combat this problem was to identify replacement thoughts.
Replacement thoughts are simply positive thoughts that make you feel good. The idea here is to have these replacement thoughts planned ahead of time, so that you can summon them when your mind is under attack from negative thoughts. By replacing the negative thoughts with positive ones, you will train your mind to focus on the positives.
This is a simple technique to set up, however depending on the severity of your depression; it can be very difficult to do. Be aware that in the beginning when you intentionally try to shift your thoughts, your mind will wander back to it’s old thinking pattern and bring more negative thoughts. Replacing your thoughts can be very frustrating and tough to master.
When I initially began using this technique, I was only getting 2 hours of sleep at night. I simply could not shut off the negative thoughts. I prepared a list of replacement thoughts, and started using the technique so I could get some peace at night. What I found was at first I had a battle going on inside my head. While I attempted to implement a new thinking pattern, the old pattern resisted.
It took me an entire week of using this technique before I was finally able to increase my sleep time to 4 hours a night. Eventually though, with persistence and determination I was able to shift my thought patterns. There were times when I let my mind wander that the old negative thoughts would creep back in, however I was able to overcome them much easier.
I encourage you to identify very meaningful positive thoughts that you can use to replace your negative thoughts. Also, when a negative thought does come, try practicing what you did with your positive and negative list. Find a way to see a positive in the negative thought. In time if you practice this technique, you will prevail.
A positive and negative list is simply that. A list of everything that you feel is positive or negative in your life, right now. Take a sheet of paper and draw a line down the middle of the page, and make one side for the positives and one side for the negatives.
When someone is depressed it can often be difficult to see the positives. However, if you take the time to really think about it, you always have positives in your life. It could be as simple as the fact that you woke up today and were alive, or perhaps that you have a roof over your head. Do not take for granted the positives you do have in your life, you have many more than you may be aware of, while in a depressed state of mind.
Now you can make your negative list. This is the time to let it all out. Put down everything that you perceive as negative in your life. This list is going to be just as important as your positive list, so make sure you list everything. Remember nobody has to ever to read your list.
Once you have your lists completed, take a moment to reflect on what you have put down. If there is anything you feel is missing, go ahead and add it now. Perhaps you feel there is something you want to take off of your lists, and that’s ok too. This is your list, so make sure it’s a representation of how you truly feel.
Now that you have your two lists, you can tear the piece of paper in half. You will now use each side for different purposes. Start with your list of positives and make note of all the positive people you have in your life. It may only be one, but that’s ok. What’s important is that you recognize that they are a positive part of your life. Those are the people you are going to want to surround yourself with, especially in the early stages of defeating depression.
Also take a moment as you look over your list of positives, and really feel thankful for having those things. Gratitude is a positive feeling, and you should make as much time as you can each day to feel thankful for the positives in your life. This is one simple step to help focus your mind on positives.
Now it’s time to look over your list of negatives. Are there people on your list? If so, it’s time to take a stand for yourself. Unless you feel you can change your relationship (and by all means you should try where possible) with these people, it is time to let them go. They may have been an important part of your life at one time, and it may not be easy. However, in order to move forward you need to let go of the past.
For every single negative on your list, try to come up with a positive that could come from that perceived negative. Perhaps you have lost your job you had for the past 10 years. You don’t really know how to do anything else and this can feel like a horrible situation, especially when there are bills to pay.
What could possibly be positive about that situation? Well for starters, you may have been unhappy with your job. You could have been working that job simply to pay the bills, without getting any real satisfaction from the work you were doing. Now that you have lost your job, you have the time to look for more satisfying work, or perhaps go back to school.
That job is done, and therefore so is that part of your life. You can only control how you choose to see things from this point forward. Why not look at your situation from the most positive perspective possible and work towards a better future?
When I wrote my first positive and negative list, I was sitting in a jail cell. Obviously one of the negatives on my list was the fact I was imprisoned. What I did was to change the way I perceived my situation. I was in jail, but I was no longer on the street doing drugs. I now had a chance to get healthy. I was in jail, but I could use all that boring time alone to wallow in self-pity, or to make plans for a better future. I chose to make plans for a better future.
You too, have the ability to choose how you perceive every negative on your list. There is a positive to be found from every perceived negative. Every negative can be seen as a challenge, and an opportunity for growth. So find the positives in your list of negatives, and what you will be left with, is a new way of looking at the challenges you face, and of course, two lists of positives.
Identify Replacement Thoughts:
Sometimes depression causes what seems to be an endless stream of negative thoughts. These thoughts can cycle over and over in your mind and leave you feeling tortured. Often you will experience sleepless nights, and difficulty focusing when you really need to. One technique that I used to combat this problem was to identify replacement thoughts.
Replacement thoughts are simply positive thoughts that make you feel good. The idea here is to have these replacement thoughts planned ahead of time, so that you can summon them when your mind is under attack from negative thoughts. By replacing the negative thoughts with positive ones, you will train your mind to focus on the positives.
This is a simple technique to set up, however depending on the severity of your depression; it can be very difficult to do. Be aware that in the beginning when you intentionally try to shift your thoughts, your mind will wander back to it’s old thinking pattern and bring more negative thoughts. Replacing your thoughts can be very frustrating and tough to master.
When I initially began using this technique, I was only getting 2 hours of sleep at night. I simply could not shut off the negative thoughts. I prepared a list of replacement thoughts, and started using the technique so I could get some peace at night. What I found was at first I had a battle going on inside my head. While I attempted to implement a new thinking pattern, the old pattern resisted.
It took me an entire week of using this technique before I was finally able to increase my sleep time to 4 hours a night. Eventually though, with persistence and determination I was able to shift my thought patterns. There were times when I let my mind wander that the old negative thoughts would creep back in, however I was able to overcome them much easier.
I encourage you to identify very meaningful positive thoughts that you can use to replace your negative thoughts. Also, when a negative thought does come, try practicing what you did with your positive and negative list. Find a way to see a positive in the negative thought. In time if you practice this technique, you will prevail.
Identify Your Values:
Simply stated, your values are what are important to you. These are the things you need in your life for you to be happy. Your values are personal, because they are what are special and meaningful to you! Values can be anything from love and peace, to wealth and success.
By identifying your values, you can focus on those things that are important to you. If you are living in accordance with what is important to you, you will feel happy. To not live in accordance with your values is stressful, because you are literally living in conflict.
Many times when I talk to people who are feeling depressed, they tell me they don’t know why they feel that way. They simply know they do not feel good about life or themselves. The first thing that comes to mind in these situations are that people are not living in accordance with their own values. Perhaps they have never identified their own values.
There were times in my life when I did not know why I felt so miserable about life. Looking back at those times, I can see that I was living a life that went against everything that was important to me. This explained why I did not like myself, or who I had become. During those times I was completely oblivious to the fact that I was not living in accordance with my values.
As an example health is a very important value to me. However, in almost every case of depression in my life, I was using drugs, drinking alcohol, or both. To someone who values their health, it is difficult to feel good about life, if you are abusing yourself with the use of drugs and alcohol.
The goal is to identify what your values are, and then make sure you are living a life that is in accordance with those values. This will go a long way in ensuring your own personal happiness. I’m including a list of values to get you started thinking.
Love
Confidence
Empathy
Communication
Success
Abundance
Honesty
Liberty
Growth
Happiness
Honor
Humor
Challenge
Bravery
Health
Ambition
Motivation
Peace
Respect
Passion
Sensitivity
Perseverance
Patience
Set Goals:
Goals are the things you want to achieve, or experience in your life. Your goals give you the drive to move forward in life. By setting and accomplishing your goals, you grow and gain a sense of confidence. Identifying and working towards your goals gives your mind a positive focus.
Goals and values work best together. In my article The Values Of Goals, I talk about how a goal should have a value behind it. A goal without a value is simply an empty goal, which will be difficult to obtain. So make sure that when you are setting goals for yourself, you find out what perceived value you are getting from achieving that goal.
Many people, who suffer from depression, also suffer from a lack of direction in their life. They may feel stuck or hopeless in their current state. Your goals are your dreams in action. Surely chasing your dreams is a great direction for your life to take. In fact, what could possibly be better?
There are many great ideas to help you set goals. The one idea I want to focus on for the purpose of defeating depression is to make easy to achieve goals. By keeping your goals simple and easily achievable you allow yourself to gain confidence. It’s important that you celebrate all of your victories, as this will help develop a positive outlook.
It is ok to make long-term goals. However, when you do make sure you set mini goals as steps along the way. In this way you are allowing yourself to be continually successful. If you simply set a long-term goal, it can sometimes be difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel, and you can become discouraged. In order to avoid that keep one important factor in mind, it is the journey that is to be enjoyed, not the destination. Once you do achieve a goal, you will continue to set new ones, so enjoy the process.
Affirmations:
Affirmations are a creative way of asserting something is true in our conscious mind. The goal is to repeat the affirmation so that it impresses upon your subconscious mind and changes your thought patterns. One analogy I like to use is that of a garden. See your subconscious mind as a garden, you as the gardener, plant seeds (thoughts) from your conscious mind into the garden. As with any garden, the dominant seeds planted will produce the dominant plant (thoughts).
The key is believing what you are affirming. Otherwise you plant one seed of thought, but your actual belief will plant another seed of thought, and you will end up with conflicting results. Allow yourself to feel worthy of that which you are affirming. Also, allow for what you are affirming to be possible in your mind. After all until something fails, you cannot know it to be impossible.
Here are a few forms of affirmations.
Writing positive statements that you repeat to yourself.
Creating a vision board with pictures of a desired goal.
Telling others about your goal or desire.
Recording yourself reading your affirmations and listening to your own voice affirming.
Visualizing a desired state or goal.
Your imagination is the only limit to how you can use affirmations. Using them repeatedly will eventually change the thought patterns that you are currently cycling through and causing your depression.
Some will suggest using simple short statements for affirmations. They are easy to remember, and can be done anywhere. Certainly this is a practical technique in a busy world. However, I believe that the more creativity and time you spend on your affirmations, the deeper the impression made upon your subconscious mind. This in turn will yield more effective results.
Using the five personal development techniques I have discussed in this article will go a long way to helping you finally defeat depression and live a positive healthy lifestyle. I recommend that you try these techniques for 45 days. If you follow them day in and day out, I have no doubt you will be much more focused on the positives in life.
In Part 3 of this series I will talk about the action stage. In the meantime, get started right now, going to work on your thoughts. Be awesome!
Simply stated, your values are what are important to you. These are the things you need in your life for you to be happy. Your values are personal, because they are what are special and meaningful to you! Values can be anything from love and peace, to wealth and success.
By identifying your values, you can focus on those things that are important to you. If you are living in accordance with what is important to you, you will feel happy. To not live in accordance with your values is stressful, because you are literally living in conflict.
Many times when I talk to people who are feeling depressed, they tell me they don’t know why they feel that way. They simply know they do not feel good about life or themselves. The first thing that comes to mind in these situations are that people are not living in accordance with their own values. Perhaps they have never identified their own values.
There were times in my life when I did not know why I felt so miserable about life. Looking back at those times, I can see that I was living a life that went against everything that was important to me. This explained why I did not like myself, or who I had become. During those times I was completely oblivious to the fact that I was not living in accordance with my values.
As an example health is a very important value to me. However, in almost every case of depression in my life, I was using drugs, drinking alcohol, or both. To someone who values their health, it is difficult to feel good about life, if you are abusing yourself with the use of drugs and alcohol.
The goal is to identify what your values are, and then make sure you are living a life that is in accordance with those values. This will go a long way in ensuring your own personal happiness. I’m including a list of values to get you started thinking.
Love
Confidence
Empathy
Communication
Success
Abundance
Honesty
Liberty
Growth
Happiness
Honor
Humor
Challenge
Bravery
Health
Ambition
Motivation
Peace
Respect
Passion
Sensitivity
Perseverance
Patience
Set Goals:
Goals are the things you want to achieve, or experience in your life. Your goals give you the drive to move forward in life. By setting and accomplishing your goals, you grow and gain a sense of confidence. Identifying and working towards your goals gives your mind a positive focus.
Goals and values work best together. In my article The Values Of Goals, I talk about how a goal should have a value behind it. A goal without a value is simply an empty goal, which will be difficult to obtain. So make sure that when you are setting goals for yourself, you find out what perceived value you are getting from achieving that goal.
Many people, who suffer from depression, also suffer from a lack of direction in their life. They may feel stuck or hopeless in their current state. Your goals are your dreams in action. Surely chasing your dreams is a great direction for your life to take. In fact, what could possibly be better?
There are many great ideas to help you set goals. The one idea I want to focus on for the purpose of defeating depression is to make easy to achieve goals. By keeping your goals simple and easily achievable you allow yourself to gain confidence. It’s important that you celebrate all of your victories, as this will help develop a positive outlook.
It is ok to make long-term goals. However, when you do make sure you set mini goals as steps along the way. In this way you are allowing yourself to be continually successful. If you simply set a long-term goal, it can sometimes be difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel, and you can become discouraged. In order to avoid that keep one important factor in mind, it is the journey that is to be enjoyed, not the destination. Once you do achieve a goal, you will continue to set new ones, so enjoy the process.
Affirmations:
Affirmations are a creative way of asserting something is true in our conscious mind. The goal is to repeat the affirmation so that it impresses upon your subconscious mind and changes your thought patterns. One analogy I like to use is that of a garden. See your subconscious mind as a garden, you as the gardener, plant seeds (thoughts) from your conscious mind into the garden. As with any garden, the dominant seeds planted will produce the dominant plant (thoughts).
The key is believing what you are affirming. Otherwise you plant one seed of thought, but your actual belief will plant another seed of thought, and you will end up with conflicting results. Allow yourself to feel worthy of that which you are affirming. Also, allow for what you are affirming to be possible in your mind. After all until something fails, you cannot know it to be impossible.
Here are a few forms of affirmations.
Writing positive statements that you repeat to yourself.
Creating a vision board with pictures of a desired goal.
Telling others about your goal or desire.
Recording yourself reading your affirmations and listening to your own voice affirming.
Visualizing a desired state or goal.
Your imagination is the only limit to how you can use affirmations. Using them repeatedly will eventually change the thought patterns that you are currently cycling through and causing your depression.
Some will suggest using simple short statements for affirmations. They are easy to remember, and can be done anywhere. Certainly this is a practical technique in a busy world. However, I believe that the more creativity and time you spend on your affirmations, the deeper the impression made upon your subconscious mind. This in turn will yield more effective results.
Using the five personal development techniques I have discussed in this article will go a long way to helping you finally defeat depression and live a positive healthy lifestyle. I recommend that you try these techniques for 45 days. If you follow them day in and day out, I have no doubt you will be much more focused on the positives in life.
In Part 3 of this series I will talk about the action stage. In the meantime, get started right now, going to work on your thoughts. Be awesome!



